Since the first women’s rights convention in 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York, women have made significant progress in their right to vote, speak, work and be seen as equals to men.
Today, women run for president and become CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.
Most recently, the ban on women in military combat has been lifted, which allows women to apply for jobs in front-line positions.
Don’t get me wrong, women’s roles aren’t the only ones who have developed over time. Men’s roles are changing too, but maybe in a different direction.
Men used to stand when a woman walked in the room and pull her seat out before she sat down. Men used to pay for every date and open every door. Women were viewed with respect and treated as royalty. That’s right, I’m talking about the gentleman and a true gentlemen, might be dying right along with the older generations.
Now obviously it’s a different time, but could chivalry really die out?
I went on a date once where the guy made several mistakes when it comes to manners. First, he asked me out in a text instead of simply calling me up. I should have said no at Mistake Number One. Then, when he got to my house to pick me up, he called me instead of coming to the door.
We went on our first date to a movie. He didn’t pay for me, he slept the whole time and he just dropped me off without walking me to the door. What a jerk — I never went out with him again. It also made me wonder why men treat women so differently than they used to.
Although men might be becoming less chivalrous on their own, I fear the women are actually at fault.
While I am proud and grateful with the progress women have made, I am also concerned with how women’s independence is affecting the role of the gentlemen. Because some women view themselves as being more independent today than ever before, when a man does something nice, they see it as demeaning instead of flattering.
The worst part is expectations associated with chivalry are so unclear today. Certain women expect a man to treat them like a “lady” and pay for every meal. Others are so concerned with losing their freedom that they don’t even want a man to open the door for them in fear of being seen as inferior. The poor guys are left not knowing what to do.
If women become so focused on becoming independent, it will create a schism between men’s roles and women’s roles and expectations will become unclear. Once chivalry is dead, I’m afraid it will never come back.
What’s so wrong with a man treating a woman respectfully anyway? It doesn’t make a woman any less independent. When women expect men to be a gentleman, men will rise to the occasion and respect women even more.
So to the women: stop being so concerned that you’re going to lose your coveted independence, and let a guy treat you right.
To the men: don’t worry about these confusing girls, stop being lame, and ask a girl out.
Preferably over the phone.